The Premier League has started, been going for 2 games now, and it's been a bit of a goal fest already, with Chelsea smashing copius amounts of goals past any sorry twat that thinks sticking 4 at the back is capable cover. It's not. But the sheer amount of goals aren't what brought Chelsea to my mind, its this...
My main problem is the orange bits? It's got a streakier fake tan than most council estate slags., then again, could be worse, you could have to wear this "striking" number every time you play away...
Elsewhere in the 'EPL' (as it is now being referred to on certain football message boards), theres already been a bit of a laugh. Mainly at the expense of Wigan....and how theyre shit.
Other teams that were having a nice time were teams such as Blackpool, as the hearty fans got a real taste of the premier league, when the tangy orange bastards got a good hiding at The Emirates. Ell Ohh Ell on their behalf.
But, theres been some wonderful statistics floating about, and some of which, unsurprising, such as Lee Cattermole winning the award/suspension for first red card of the season, and Wigan winning the most goals conceded game...and the least scored.
Normally, it's about sport these days, and sport in general, but other than the USPGA the other week, where Dustin Johnson cocked up by putting his club down in a bunker, the gimp, and lost his spot in the play off, which, eventually, a German won. This was surprising, because this playoff was against an American. Although, to ensure the Sherman Tank won, I think theyre required a mighty fine British representative to ensure everything was going just fine.
Otherwise, in my mind, no other sport has actually happened, apart from shit ones, that nobody really cares about. Sweet.
Oh, wait, there was, as fellow Briton, Andy Murray won some tennis matchplaygamething. Well done Andy.
But then he lost another one the other day, Scottish twat.
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