Mmmmm,

why are all these blogs so serious?
I must have missed the memo that states all teenagers should go from being carefree and wonderfully simple to ranting about the government, credit crunches and such. Fair 'nuff, it is on certain levels important, but it feels like a lot of kids my age would rather sit in a little corner cafe drinking a skinny latte working away on their Mac instead of wanting to waste their money on fast food and copius amounts of booze all in the aim of a good night. Its a sad day when a 16 year old turns down a pint in favour of a cuppa.
In a way, me posting this is sort of touching on what i'm getting at.
I think we've all forgotten how to have some proper fun.

To expand on Dan Craig's blog...

I couldnt help but notice the headline of "Haiti" on the anit racist newspaper. I must have been an idiot for asking, but how has and earthquake got anything to do with racism? Maybe i'm racist for not stopping the earthquake. If so, shame on me. Or quite possibly it's a result of all racial hatred, spurring out from the tectonic plates of the globe, resulting in a shattering blow to the innocent people of Haiti. Or even moreso, it could just be that God still hates homosexuals and drug addicts, in which case, i assume, the big man got it completely wrong...unless the people of Haiti were all bum chums and rug munchers on an island built on used needles and £20 notes using for the consumption of that little white powder we all quirkily refer to as Cocaine.

In other news i found £2 under my bed today. Win for me! I could get two anti-racist newspapers for that.

You Love Her?

But if i smashed her face in with a shovel and seriously deformed her face would you still?
No???
Well then, you're just fond of her facial features.

Me, Dan Craig and Janderson...

..do partake in what can only be described as great conversation when i'm not screaming across the refectory to Sam to tell Hollie (who i refer to as 'that slag' to answer her phone).

Dan: Haiti is a conspiracy, theyre hoarding all the money
Jordan: I know, how much does it really take to rebuild mud huts? You'll go over there and they'll all be 'look at my mansion, i got this for free thanks to you', they'll all be rich
Me: Next thing you'll know they'll buy the Burj Al Arab and Man City
Dan: And just sign the prem
Thomas: They can sign anyone they like, and be so good they can have a really poor player, like Princess Diana, using all the money to bring her back to life. The commentary would be great when the cameras go into the tunnel before they walk out "And Diana also looks to be in the starting line up, but whether she can make it out of the tunnel this time is an entirely different matter"

'nuff sed

I miss...

the lady who was dressed as a tea towel in the lift the other day.
Like Dan said, she was ready for dishes on the go. A sound investment in a housewife possibly.
I may lure her in with a trail of dirty dishes before caputruing her in a net and sellling her for a reasonable profit.

And once again, my evening has takn a sad turn and became shockingly boring, and i have resorted to the form of blogging away my boredom, if only for a few minutes, in vain hope that in some way the internet will repay me with some level of achknowledgement, and thus, entertainment. In the words of Pete Doherty "I thought they (wraps of heroine) were in my other coat"

I completely see...

where Dan Craig is coming from, Hollie Lees and mother Chloe produce serious blogs. They probably drink coffee and moan at the youth of today aswell. Still love them though.



In other news Jordan Anderson showed some great teamwork in Starbucks today, i was impressed, although i was the complete opposite when i found out he should have been in Derek Time instead. Tut tut Jordan.

Also admire the FA and Sunderland A.F.C, who luckily (or unluckily, depending how you see it) completed the Benjani move after a dodgey fax machine nearly bolloxed it up. Nice.

Starbuck's window provided some sights worthy of television today, the two best being when a man in a raggy coat and brand new wellies stood in front of us in the window, turned around and started screaming his peanut head off at the statue of the man balancing on his elbow outside of The Lounge, before he stopped, scratched his face and wondered off towards Grey's Monument. The second of me being hugely frustrated at the most rediculous Seagul ever, it went around in the same circle about 6 times before it finally went where it was going to go. Why not take off and go in that direction in the first place you prick?

Ive enjoyed the past few days, they've been a blast, however, i've been lacking in the company of Campbell and Byrne and who ever tags along with them.

I think i'm going to go now and revel in the musical joys that are The XX and The Teenagers, fun times for me.

Nobody reads this shit do they?

tara! xxx





P.S Dan Craig has a choade.

My Christ...

Anyone else seen Vennables world cup song? Dreadful.

Nothing will ever beat New Order and John Barnes.

Valiant effort though.

Occasionally...

i come up with some amazing ideas, my pride and joy at the minute being that of my brainstorm to chain rapists and paedophiles to ruddy great big radiators, in the basic theory of it, it has to be a win win situation. Convicted rapist/paedo? Get away from radiators, it's only going to end up badly for you. But, the basic point is, either way, society is at a win, just think about it, pure genuis. Tie said rapist/paedo to the radiator (i'm imagining with handcuffs, the details are still at a bare minimum here) and let the action unfold, as so far i have figured three outcomes will come of this one simple act:
1. The rapist/paedo will give up all hope, and tied to a radiator will eventually starve to death, realising his unwinnable battle.
2. The rapist/paedo will somehow detatch the radiator from the wall, however, he has not won, after all, they wont be hard to spot and recapture with a rather large radiator chained the their wrist.
and finally, 3. Desperate for kids/women to rape, the said person will eat one's hand until it is completely free (however, this could lead to the rndom attacks on those unfortunate enough to lose a hand, as they could be mistaken for a paedo/rapist, and for those with both hands missing, to the hoards, it only means youve been caught, and freed...twice)

Get ready Gordon Bee and the Homeoffice, you gots a letter heading your way!