...Knocked out to the bloody Germans, going to gloss over that entire section right there, just not worth revisiting it, and it's hard to be funny about getting beat 4-1 because thats alreayd piss your pants funny if you dont support England.
Nothing interesting happened in sport today/this week, mainly because all focus was on the football.
Monday, 28 June 2010
Thursday, 24 June 2010
Ciao Italia!..
...G'Day New Zealand!
After a fantastic French surrender it's nice to see the Italian coming out in sympathy, but a man not full of sympathy was Cannavaro, yanking his crying friends up from the floor as manly as he could, but we all know he cried in the showers. In a way it's nice to see 'lesser' teams doing well, but back to my previous post, it does have it's slight problems, but on the bright side, each Paraguayan player got his family a new goat for qualifying, you go Christian Riveros, you'll eat for a week!
Also, ENGLAND GOT THROUGH! And they played half decent, but then again, it was against an eastern European country that still believe in incest and Serfdom. But none the less, fantastic to see, and even better, we face Ze Germans in the next round, and already Becken "Jack" Bauer is sticking in his silly German nose, trying to mess shit up and start a war of words, but after current records, there's only one side going to win that war isn't there. Was also nice to say JdotCole having a run out with a little smile on his face, just happy to be there, a lot like the African stereotype at the World Cup. I'd rather have not qualified then go out to the SS. Dunkirk fucking spirit boys!
But in a mass amount of national pride, England beat the Criminals (Australia) at cricket...again. Luckily we had an Irishman who could bail us out when the shit hit the fan, and luckily the Aussies didn't notice him until Mitchell Johnson pointed out his height and how he scored runs not by running, but on the back of a 7/2 horse straight from Ascot.
Big shout out to John Isner and Nicolas Mahut, after battling for a monumental 11 hours and 5 minutes, (or 665 minutes for all you staticians out there) with the Sherman Tank eventually defeating the Snail eating man (whether he surrendered the game is yet to be confirmed). But both blokes should be given a medal, after most of us, we would have put our racket down, flipped a coin, and discussed the conclusion over a couple of pints at the nearest pub, and in achknowledgement of such a great game, including 215 aces (Mahut would have gotten the world record for most aces at 103 if it wasn't for Isners staggering 112 aces), the Queen went and watched some sweaty, ginger Scottish arse beat some bloke nobody has ever heard. Well done Queenie.
Other than that, nothing else has really happened in sport up until now, apart from a rare and great officiating performance from all 4 British officials (at the same time!) in South Africa today. So i'm off to Scotland for some golf for a couple of days so i'll round it all up then.
Bring on Ze Germans, but here's a few chants to sing at the pub
"My grandad shot your grandad, doo da, doo da"
*To the tune of 10 green bottles*
"There were 5 German bombers in the air, there 5 German bombers in the air, 5 German bombers, 5 German bombers, 5 German bombers in the air.....
AND the RAF from England shot one down, the RAF from England shot one, and the RAF from England, RAF from England, RAF from England shot one down"
"5-1, even Heskey scored,
5-1, even Heskey scored!"
and finally
"2 World Wars and 1 World Cup, doo da, doo da"
After a fantastic French surrender it's nice to see the Italian coming out in sympathy, but a man not full of sympathy was Cannavaro, yanking his crying friends up from the floor as manly as he could, but we all know he cried in the showers. In a way it's nice to see 'lesser' teams doing well, but back to my previous post, it does have it's slight problems, but on the bright side, each Paraguayan player got his family a new goat for qualifying, you go Christian Riveros, you'll eat for a week!
Also, ENGLAND GOT THROUGH! And they played half decent, but then again, it was against an eastern European country that still believe in incest and Serfdom. But none the less, fantastic to see, and even better, we face Ze Germans in the next round, and already Becken "Jack" Bauer is sticking in his silly German nose, trying to mess shit up and start a war of words, but after current records, there's only one side going to win that war isn't there. Was also nice to say JdotCole having a run out with a little smile on his face, just happy to be there, a lot like the African stereotype at the World Cup. I'd rather have not qualified then go out to the SS. Dunkirk fucking spirit boys!
But in a mass amount of national pride, England beat the Criminals (Australia) at cricket...again. Luckily we had an Irishman who could bail us out when the shit hit the fan, and luckily the Aussies didn't notice him until Mitchell Johnson pointed out his height and how he scored runs not by running, but on the back of a 7/2 horse straight from Ascot.
Big shout out to John Isner and Nicolas Mahut, after battling for a monumental 11 hours and 5 minutes, (or 665 minutes for all you staticians out there) with the Sherman Tank eventually defeating the Snail eating man (whether he surrendered the game is yet to be confirmed). But both blokes should be given a medal, after most of us, we would have put our racket down, flipped a coin, and discussed the conclusion over a couple of pints at the nearest pub, and in achknowledgement of such a great game, including 215 aces (Mahut would have gotten the world record for most aces at 103 if it wasn't for Isners staggering 112 aces), the Queen went and watched some sweaty, ginger Scottish arse beat some bloke nobody has ever heard. Well done Queenie.
Other than that, nothing else has really happened in sport up until now, apart from a rare and great officiating performance from all 4 British officials (at the same time!) in South Africa today. So i'm off to Scotland for some golf for a couple of days so i'll round it all up then.
Bring on Ze Germans, but here's a few chants to sing at the pub
"My grandad shot your grandad, doo da, doo da"
*To the tune of 10 green bottles*
"There were 5 German bombers in the air, there 5 German bombers in the air, 5 German bombers, 5 German bombers, 5 German bombers in the air.....
AND the RAF from England shot one down, the RAF from England shot one, and the RAF from England, RAF from England, RAF from England shot one down"
"5-1, even Heskey scored,
5-1, even Heskey scored!"
and finally
"2 World Wars and 1 World Cup, doo da, doo da"
Tuesday, 22 June 2010
Seem to have gotten it wrong...
I dont know why, but for a moment back then, I assumed we were the dog munchers, sorry.
to rephrase
"A chance to play Ghana or Germany in the last 16, safe to say, C'MON ENGLAND!"
to rephrase
"A chance to play Ghana or Germany in the last 16, safe to say, C'MON ENGLAND!"
To quote Craig Byrne...
..."the day the world cup final is Serbia vs Mexico is the day I hang myself".
And it's been giant killings again in the world cup. Which is a shame, in a way. It's fair to say that France played like a team not unified, not hungry and a team who just didnt give a shit. In my opinion, the only reason they actually played football was to spite Ireland. Nice. But going out after losing 2-1 to Sotuh Africa (who aren't the greatest footballing nation ever) really says it all, especially when you read the team sheet, Tshabalala sounds like he belongs in a Tony Christie song rather than Centre Midfield. All in all, i made the wrong match choices today, but looking at some of the highlights, the Uraguay gam wasnt amazing neither, 4 games in a day with 2 being played at the same time isn't good. In fact, it's about as cool as scoring a reall good goal, screaming at a camera and getting pulled for failing a "random drug test".
Also watched some cricket today, before thinking to myself "Has it got this bad that i'm watching a fat Australian man throw a ball at a scared looking man with some sponge and a plank of wood as a defence mechanism?", realising the answer was "No" and quickly flicked to some NASCAR.
I would also like to say I truely believe NASCAR is okay to watch, but why the oval tracks all the time? Are the Yanks really that stupid that they cant go round one corner, then do a corner the opposite way? Oh wait, they're from the deep south, taking it all back! Tools.
And it was the long awaited "Emergency budget" today, in which I was surprised the Tories didn't put up petrol and booze taxes just to fuck us (working class people) over a little more. But wait, there's more to that..Upson IS starting tomorrow? Poor choice Don Fabio, Michael Dawson all the way bruv, you get me? That's right, 3pm tomorrow! Fuck you David "call me Dave" Cameron, more pressing issues are at hand, the only way the budget would have been less popular is if Cameron confirmed Heskey was starting tomorrow. Thats how much we care mate. Cheers ConDem.
And so as the Argie Bargies beat the Plate Smashers, I give my leave, so with France out, Mexico and Argentina through with relative ease and the offer of a game against Uraguay in the last 16, it's safe to C'MON ENGLAND!
And it's been giant killings again in the world cup. Which is a shame, in a way. It's fair to say that France played like a team not unified, not hungry and a team who just didnt give a shit. In my opinion, the only reason they actually played football was to spite Ireland. Nice. But going out after losing 2-1 to Sotuh Africa (who aren't the greatest footballing nation ever) really says it all, especially when you read the team sheet, Tshabalala sounds like he belongs in a Tony Christie song rather than Centre Midfield. All in all, i made the wrong match choices today, but looking at some of the highlights, the Uraguay gam wasnt amazing neither, 4 games in a day with 2 being played at the same time isn't good. In fact, it's about as cool as scoring a reall good goal, screaming at a camera and getting pulled for failing a "random drug test".
Also watched some cricket today, before thinking to myself "Has it got this bad that i'm watching a fat Australian man throw a ball at a scared looking man with some sponge and a plank of wood as a defence mechanism?", realising the answer was "No" and quickly flicked to some NASCAR.
I would also like to say I truely believe NASCAR is okay to watch, but why the oval tracks all the time? Are the Yanks really that stupid that they cant go round one corner, then do a corner the opposite way? Oh wait, they're from the deep south, taking it all back! Tools.
And it was the long awaited "Emergency budget" today, in which I was surprised the Tories didn't put up petrol and booze taxes just to fuck us (working class people) over a little more. But wait, there's more to that..Upson IS starting tomorrow? Poor choice Don Fabio, Michael Dawson all the way bruv, you get me? That's right, 3pm tomorrow! Fuck you David "call me Dave" Cameron, more pressing issues are at hand, the only way the budget would have been less popular is if Cameron confirmed Heskey was starting tomorrow. Thats how much we care mate. Cheers ConDem.
And so as the Argie Bargies beat the Plate Smashers, I give my leave, so with France out, Mexico and Argentina through with relative ease and the offer of a game against Uraguay in the last 16, it's safe to C'MON ENGLAND!
Monday, 21 June 2010
So...
.. the budget is announced tomorrow, but who cares, after all, it means 24 hours until Englands crucial game against Slovenia or whoever it is.
So far, i've been smitten by the World Cup, but i don't understand why, i'd find better football in League 1 these days. Sure, the players are world class and the officiating is of the highest standard, but it's safe to say, compared to other World Cups (at the half way stage), it's been shite. Fewer goals (but thanks for the effort Portugal), and loads of red cards (Thank you Asian referee's). So far there hasn't been a truely outstanding team, the Germans started well but flopped quickly, Spain (ther perrenial unachievers) seem to be doing just that, Italy have stuttered their way to 2 points while Ireland have seemed to defect after the abrupt end Nick O'Nelka's World Cup after a dressing room spat with Ray Done-me-neckin, with Argentina doing good, but looking shakey at theback. And, well, as for England, lets leave that one.
However, I have been pleasantly surprised by Paraguay, and its safe to say, theyr'e okay, and same goes for Uraguay, but my stand out favourites so far have been Chile. Simple as that.
The Cricket season also marches on, but very few actually care about that, because we all know some bats-person somewhere, most probably born in Australia, hit a few 4's, knocked a couple of 6's then ran loads of other numbers, such as the number 1, 2 and 3. So well done that man.
The Tennis also started today, but i don't personally watch it, as we all know some British person will do okay in it, get to like the Quater Finals and get beat off some bloke who's Dad makes watches or fights Bull's for a living and goes on to be the eventual winner, while one of the Williams birds wins the womens.
Motorsport has also been happening, and as part time Brit, Lewis Hamilton wins some stuff like champagne which he squirts at Germans (in an attempt to blind them with the fizzy stuff as to remind them who's boss after 2 world wars and a motorway speed limit of 70), some Italian prick fell on his Cycle and hurt himself, he then said he'd miss a few races and now some Paella eating ponce is winning a few races, but, it's better than the man from the deep south who believes in Jesus and Motorsport and repents Gay's and non drunk-drivers.
Another sport (in which i'm interested in) will grab some headlines, as Northern Irishman, Graeme McDowell won the U.S Open, so well done son, get yourself a beer that sort of is a Guinness, but not quite, or even better, use it as a platform to dig up some stuff from Bloody Sunday that nobody really cares about anymore and claim you back the British Army, or plant a bomb in the Trafford Centre as some sort of victory celebration. But still, well done, you beat the man who plays golf the wrong way round and the man whore (and lapsed faith Buddhist) Tiger.
And it was also good fun watching the Irish midgets ride really big horses really fast over hedges and shit and then some fell off and some men in funny hats (who resembles the Monopoly Man) lost some money, and some won. Get in.
Overall the next few weeks are looking interesting, as a persue my career in being a Sky Sports columnist, I am now changing this bad boiiii to a comical-ish look on sport. Geeeeet up.
So far, i've been smitten by the World Cup, but i don't understand why, i'd find better football in League 1 these days. Sure, the players are world class and the officiating is of the highest standard, but it's safe to say, compared to other World Cups (at the half way stage), it's been shite. Fewer goals (but thanks for the effort Portugal), and loads of red cards (Thank you Asian referee's). So far there hasn't been a truely outstanding team, the Germans started well but flopped quickly, Spain (ther perrenial unachievers) seem to be doing just that, Italy have stuttered their way to 2 points while Ireland have seemed to defect after the abrupt end Nick O'Nelka's World Cup after a dressing room spat with Ray Done-me-neckin, with Argentina doing good, but looking shakey at theback. And, well, as for England, lets leave that one.
However, I have been pleasantly surprised by Paraguay, and its safe to say, theyr'e okay, and same goes for Uraguay, but my stand out favourites so far have been Chile. Simple as that.
The Cricket season also marches on, but very few actually care about that, because we all know some bats-person somewhere, most probably born in Australia, hit a few 4's, knocked a couple of 6's then ran loads of other numbers, such as the number 1, 2 and 3. So well done that man.
The Tennis also started today, but i don't personally watch it, as we all know some British person will do okay in it, get to like the Quater Finals and get beat off some bloke who's Dad makes watches or fights Bull's for a living and goes on to be the eventual winner, while one of the Williams birds wins the womens.
Motorsport has also been happening, and as part time Brit, Lewis Hamilton wins some stuff like champagne which he squirts at Germans (in an attempt to blind them with the fizzy stuff as to remind them who's boss after 2 world wars and a motorway speed limit of 70), some Italian prick fell on his Cycle and hurt himself, he then said he'd miss a few races and now some Paella eating ponce is winning a few races, but, it's better than the man from the deep south who believes in Jesus and Motorsport and repents Gay's and non drunk-drivers.
Another sport (in which i'm interested in) will grab some headlines, as Northern Irishman, Graeme McDowell won the U.S Open, so well done son, get yourself a beer that sort of is a Guinness, but not quite, or even better, use it as a platform to dig up some stuff from Bloody Sunday that nobody really cares about anymore and claim you back the British Army, or plant a bomb in the Trafford Centre as some sort of victory celebration. But still, well done, you beat the man who plays golf the wrong way round and the man whore (and lapsed faith Buddhist) Tiger.
And it was also good fun watching the Irish midgets ride really big horses really fast over hedges and shit and then some fell off and some men in funny hats (who resembles the Monopoly Man) lost some money, and some won. Get in.
Overall the next few weeks are looking interesting, as a persue my career in being a Sky Sports columnist, I am now changing this bad boiiii to a comical-ish look on sport. Geeeeet up.
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